American Male Manifesto

The American Male Manifesto

My actions declare that my heart is determined to be deeply connected to nothing. I will be affiliated, standardized, and recognized with everything from Rotary to a football team. Bring on the labels! I want to be solidified, qualified, and identified with something. I am a (fill in the blank)… Alabama fan, Auburn fan, Razorback, Rotarian, Republican, Caucasian, African American, Presbyterian, Baptist.

Despite my affiliation I will still be deeply disconnected. The only thing to which I will be truly connected is my disconnectedness. However, please accord me all the rights and privileges of membership in those affiliations (after all, doesn’t membership have its privileges?), but require nothing of me… At least nothing more than the least possible acceptable duty.

Please do not ask me to reveal my heart, my true self, my center to you. I will not do it. I fear that even if my very life depended on it I would still be unable to do it. It is impossible to divulge that which I do not know.

AFFILIATED

I want people to think that I am part of something larger than myself. Therefore I will pursue the god of affiliation.

I will get an education that will lead to a vocation from which I will need a vacation to retain any semblance of sanity. Then I will have a school to root for and an answer to the all-important, all-identifying, pigeonholing question….”So, what do you do?”

I will live in an acceptable neighborhood or city. I will become a member of an acceptable social organization…Neighborhood Watch, Kiwanis, Optimist, Pessimist, Realist….SOMETHING.

I will need a political party with which to associate. Then I will have something to hide behind…I mean talk about when real social issues arise in conversation. Platforms are easy to stand on. Someone else builds them, and we get to just see how many of us can stand on or jump on the right one at the right time.

I will need a faith affiliation. How can I go to heaven if I don’t have my name on a roll? I remember that old hymn about Roll Call. I do want to be there when it is called. Oh, what was it Mom dragged Dad and us to as kids? Pentecoastal? Seventh Day… Methodist? Was it the Church of God, the Church of Christ, or the Church of God in Christ? Well I must go somewhere at least most Sundays to please God, right? I’ll go wherever is comfortable whenever it is convenient…Maybe it will help with that vocation thing.

Wow, now I have the answers to Life’s 3 most important questions…
1)How ya doin’? The answer to that one is always “Fine.” That is how the preacher always answered it. Mom and dad without fail answered the same no matter how bad things were.

2)Where do you go to church?

And

3)So what do you do?

I think that will cover about 86.9% of all the conversations I will encounter.

STANDARDIZED

It is imperative to “meet expectations”. I must get an education, get a haircut, get a job, make a living, buy a house, raise a family, get cable or satellite, drive a good car, pass the tests, cut the mustard (not the cheese), climb the ladder, make the rounds, talk the talk, walk the walk. After all, isn’t that what I am “supposed” to do.

Recognized

It is not just enough to be affiliated and standardized, but I must also be recognized. That is really where my identity comes from. “I’m the top sales rep in the Southeast. I’m the pastor of one of the largest churches in the U.S. I am a charter member of the 1st St. Baptist Church. I’m the _______________ (fill in the blank). The praises of people who don’t really know me are of great value, don’t you think?

So, if I can be affiliated, standardized, and recognized I should be fine right? After all, I just want the “American Dream”. Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness… Isn’t that my birthright?

So I’ve got a life…
Livin’ it up.

They tell me I am free…
Got that liberty thing down pat.

I am pursuing that ever-elusive happiness.

I know I started out with a great title. A “MANIFESTO” sounds pretty strong but this is disintegrating fast. Life? Liberty? Happiness?

If this is life, why do I feel dead inside? If this is liberty, why am I a slave? And if I am pursuing happiness, why do I get the overwhelming suspicion that the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a train?

If I am so affiliated that I am surrounded with people, why am I so alone?

If I am “meeting expectations”, why am I unfulfilled?

If I am recognized, why do I feel that no one knows me?

Copyright Oct 2003