OK, I admit it, I like Clint Black. I even TiVoed (look it up in the new technology dictionary) a concert of his recently. I am watching it now. I think some of the lyrics in his songs are clever and somewhat insightful. His song Killin' Time is about drinking away his time after a broken heart. (unique for a country song, huh? )
While we may not choose to drink away our time due to a lost love, I wonder if there isn't still a connection to that thought for us. Are we stuck in a holding pattern because of a wound (perceived or real) dealt to our hearts?
While the guy in the song knows that when "I cross that line, and they bury me, I just might find I'll be killin' time for eternity". I wonder if we aren't doing the same but without the realization that it might kill us NOW and possibly forever.
I believe that Jesus's promise of "abundant life" is not just a promise of heaven, but a promise of a new life that begins NOW. We all start out in innocence, an Eden like existence. But somewhere (often early in life) along the way, a death, a fall happens. The innocence and confidence is shattered. A disappointement. A divorce. The arrow of a hurtful word. Physical violence. A message from someone we love that we are not valuable, or at least valuable enough. Even an actual death of someone close. All of these things ROCK our world. They make us question...life...ourselves...even and especially God. And the enemy capitalizes. He gives us lies as answers to the questions. We buy it. And part of us dies because of it.
It is of great importance to identify these deaths. But not for the purpose of living in them. We must allow the dead parts of us to be brought back to life. We must identify the agreements. We must replace the lies with the Truth. We must believe and proclaim that truth. And then live in the freedom that comes.
This is not some magical "How To" on undoing or dealing with the wounds that paralyze us. But by initiating this process, by proclaiming the TRUTH and breaking agreements we have made with an Enemy who comes only to "steal, kill, and destroy". We make new agreements to live from. There is a spiritual resurrection that begins.
Now just because something is brought back to life (think about the crash cart in an ER) it doesn't mean that it will necessarily be utterly and completely healed. Although I guess that could happen. Usually healing takes time. Learning to walk again, especially with strength, stamina, and grace, takes time. But those crash cart moments can be looked back upon as resurrection moments. They are anchor points to remember and live from.
BUT if we don't identify those deaths. If we don't claim and live in the abundant life that is available because of the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of our Savior, we might just be "killin' time for eternity". That doesn't sound very much like life to me.
As always, Shoulder to Shoulder.....
11/6/05
9/2/05
Support Men's Encounter and the Rashel Foundation
The Rashel Foundation and Men's Encounter Golf Tournament
October 29, 2005 Tee off 10:30 am
At Farm Links Golf Course Sylacauga, AL
Want to learn more about the tournament or The Rashel Foundation
go to www.rashelfoundgolf.blogspot.com
Interested in playing? Contact us at chris@mensencounter.com
8/31/05
The Life Transformed
How can you change the world?
By allowing God to first change us. Is that an oversimplification?
Brad Stine said, (in response to the 10 Commandments Statue Debate/Debacle in my home state of AL), "We cannot change the world by talking about Jesus. We can only change the world if we BE Jesus."
While I do believe Christian involvement in politics is important, it is only secondary to Christians dedicated to allowing the transformation of Christ to occur in him or herself.
I believe we need to ask, "Do we simply wish to be heard or do we want to be agents of real change?"
All too often we rail about moral/political issues that seem important, but are not areas in which we struggle. We'll fuss loudly about Homosexuality, Gay Marriage, Abortion, and the like. Which are all viable moral and social concerns. However, most of us won't have an abortion, propose to a same sex partner, or even be involved in a homosexual relationship.
I wonder what powerful social and spiritual mountains would be moved if each of us focused most of that outward energy on listening to God about ourselves... seeking the revelation of his heart through ours.
I will use for example the issue of prayer in school. This has been a social soapbox for us Christian folks for years. I know many(!) who will rally around this topic while having a spotty (at best) track record of praying in their homes with their spouse and children.
We will use it as voting criteria. We will attend rallies and talk about it passionately at church and the coffeehouse. We will question someone's salvation if they don't agree. Yet we fail so miserably to engage ourselves and our families in that very activity in the places it is not only permissible but imperative.
(does the word hypocrite apply here?)
I am convinced that most, if not all, significant change that truly affects society is that which is first sealed in the heart of the individual. Legislating social or moral standards does not enact that transformation. I believe our world will respond only to the life transformed. Our world will not conform to our political, legal, and moral standards simply because we have them written down in a Bible, creed, or book of law. Our world will respond best to us living in the transformational process of Christ.
By allowing God to first change us. Is that an oversimplification?
Brad Stine said, (in response to the 10 Commandments Statue Debate/Debacle in my home state of AL), "We cannot change the world by talking about Jesus. We can only change the world if we BE Jesus."
While I do believe Christian involvement in politics is important, it is only secondary to Christians dedicated to allowing the transformation of Christ to occur in him or herself.
I believe we need to ask, "Do we simply wish to be heard or do we want to be agents of real change?"
All too often we rail about moral/political issues that seem important, but are not areas in which we struggle. We'll fuss loudly about Homosexuality, Gay Marriage, Abortion, and the like. Which are all viable moral and social concerns. However, most of us won't have an abortion, propose to a same sex partner, or even be involved in a homosexual relationship.
I wonder what powerful social and spiritual mountains would be moved if each of us focused most of that outward energy on listening to God about ourselves... seeking the revelation of his heart through ours.
I will use for example the issue of prayer in school. This has been a social soapbox for us Christian folks for years. I know many(!) who will rally around this topic while having a spotty (at best) track record of praying in their homes with their spouse and children.
We will use it as voting criteria. We will attend rallies and talk about it passionately at church and the coffeehouse. We will question someone's salvation if they don't agree. Yet we fail so miserably to engage ourselves and our families in that very activity in the places it is not only permissible but imperative.
(does the word hypocrite apply here?)
I am convinced that most, if not all, significant change that truly affects society is that which is first sealed in the heart of the individual. Legislating social or moral standards does not enact that transformation. I believe our world will respond only to the life transformed. Our world will not conform to our political, legal, and moral standards simply because we have them written down in a Bible, creed, or book of law. Our world will respond best to us living in the transformational process of Christ.
6/13/05
Skydivers Wanted...
BECOMING A HEALTHY CHURCH
1 Corinthians 1:18-31 NLT
18I know very well how foolish the message of the cross sounds to those who are on the road to destruction. But we who are being saved recognize this message as the very power of God. 19As the Scriptures say,
"I will destroy human wisdom and discard their most brilliant ideas."[c]
20So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world's brilliant debaters? God has made them all look foolish and has shown their wisdom to be useless nonsense. 21Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never find him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save all who believe. 22God's way seems foolish to the Jews because they want a sign from heaven to prove it is true. And it is foolish to the Greeks because they believe only what agrees with their own wisdom. 23So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended, and the Gentiles say it's all nonsense. 24But to those called by God to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles,[d] Christ is the mighty power of God and the wonderful wisdom of God. 25This "foolish" plan of God is far wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God's weakness is far stronger than the greatest of human strength.
26Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes, or powerful, or wealthy when God called you. 27Instead, God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful. 28God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important, 29so that no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
30God alone made it possible for you to be in Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Christ to be wisdom itself. He is the one who made us acceptable to God. He made us pure and holy, and he gave himself to purchase our freedom. 31As the Scriptures say,
"The person who wishes to boast should boast only of what the Lord has done."
FOOLISHNESS vs. WISDOM
A man in a jumpsuit with a parachute stands looking out the open door of a perfectly good airplane. Does this make him a skydiver? After all, he is dressed appropriately. He does have the proper equipment. So, does this make him a skydiver?
NO! The jump, actually diving into the sky, makes him a skydiver.
The jump also makes him seem, to some, crazy, foolish, or at the very least, unwise.
What would you call the man dressed and prepared who never jumps? WISE?
It is easy to participate in religious activities, dress the part, speak the language, learn about God. But what about life outside the walls of a church building? Does the world see us as crazy, foolish, or unwise?… not in some preaching on the corner in tattered clothes foolish, not legalistically condemningly accusatory crazy, but crazy like the folks called by God in the Bible? Does our faith seem radical and foolish to them. Are we jumping or just staring out the door like the rest of the world?
The life of Jesus is told in story. The context of which is the wrong place with the wrong people and in impossible situations. (At least as the “wise” of the world would judge it.) AND HE JUMPS!!!! HE DIVES!!! He is FOOLISH!!!
What is the outcome of this foolishness? Wild, amazing, awe-inspiring, unpredictable God-prints on the hearts of people.
Do we go to the wrong place, to the wrong people, who have an impossible situation…and JUMP?…as individual believers? As a church?
What do we have to lose?
Going Deeper…..
From the story of the Exodus and The Barbarian Way.
EXODUS 40:30-34 NIV
34 Then the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle. 35 Moses could not enter the Tent of Meeting because the cloud had settled upon it, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.
36 In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; 37 but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out—until the day it lifted. 38 So the cloud of the LORD was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel during all their travels.
These followers of God must have looked “crazy, foolish, and unwise” to outsiders. God’s call always involves things that do not make “sense” to us.
“…religion provides stability and certainty; for the barbarian (“foolish” followers of Christ), a life in God is one of risk and mystery. And maybe even a little insanity”—The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
“When Noah built the ark, he did not live in a flood zone.”-- The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
“Those people did not live normal lives. Their actions were ludicrous and irrational if you take God out of the formula…The vitality of their life in God moved them beyond the practicality of simply being reasonable.”-- The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
“You were not created to be normal. God’s desire for you is not compliance and conformity. You have been baptized by Spirit and fire.”-- The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
There was nothing safe about the man Jesus. He was the Messiah, but he was a fool and rebel to “the wise”. Would anyone call today’s church foolish or rebellious to “the wise”? Some think our message is foolish, but what about our actions.
Going Deeper Questions
Consider the following Questions
-What keeps you from “jumping” after God?
-What keeps you from encouraging others to jump?
-What would happen if we formed the “Skydivers Ministry”?
Would we cheer on the skydivers?
Would others be emboldened to jump?
Would the world take notice?
Would the world be better for it?
Would YOU jump?
CONCLUSION
Someone has to be the first person to jump. Some group has to start. Will it be you? Are you hanging out in places that skydivers might be found? If not, find one. If you don’t find one, start one.
WHOSOEVER can become a skydiver. No experience necessary.
WHOSOEVER is waiting to see God’s foolishness in you so they might see the wisdom of the cross.
1 Corinthians 1:18-31 NLT
18I know very well how foolish the message of the cross sounds to those who are on the road to destruction. But we who are being saved recognize this message as the very power of God. 19As the Scriptures say,
"I will destroy human wisdom and discard their most brilliant ideas."[c]
20So where does this leave the philosophers, the scholars, and the world's brilliant debaters? God has made them all look foolish and has shown their wisdom to be useless nonsense. 21Since God in his wisdom saw to it that the world would never find him through human wisdom, he has used our foolish preaching to save all who believe. 22God's way seems foolish to the Jews because they want a sign from heaven to prove it is true. And it is foolish to the Greeks because they believe only what agrees with their own wisdom. 23So when we preach that Christ was crucified, the Jews are offended, and the Gentiles say it's all nonsense. 24But to those called by God to salvation, both Jews and Gentiles,[d] Christ is the mighty power of God and the wonderful wisdom of God. 25This "foolish" plan of God is far wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God's weakness is far stronger than the greatest of human strength.
26Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes, or powerful, or wealthy when God called you. 27Instead, God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful. 28God chose things despised by the world, things counted as nothing at all, and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important, 29so that no one can ever boast in the presence of God.
30God alone made it possible for you to be in Christ Jesus. For our benefit God made Christ to be wisdom itself. He is the one who made us acceptable to God. He made us pure and holy, and he gave himself to purchase our freedom. 31As the Scriptures say,
"The person who wishes to boast should boast only of what the Lord has done."
FOOLISHNESS vs. WISDOM
A man in a jumpsuit with a parachute stands looking out the open door of a perfectly good airplane. Does this make him a skydiver? After all, he is dressed appropriately. He does have the proper equipment. So, does this make him a skydiver?
NO! The jump, actually diving into the sky, makes him a skydiver.
The jump also makes him seem, to some, crazy, foolish, or at the very least, unwise.
What would you call the man dressed and prepared who never jumps? WISE?
It is easy to participate in religious activities, dress the part, speak the language, learn about God. But what about life outside the walls of a church building? Does the world see us as crazy, foolish, or unwise?… not in some preaching on the corner in tattered clothes foolish, not legalistically condemningly accusatory crazy, but crazy like the folks called by God in the Bible? Does our faith seem radical and foolish to them. Are we jumping or just staring out the door like the rest of the world?
The life of Jesus is told in story. The context of which is the wrong place with the wrong people and in impossible situations. (At least as the “wise” of the world would judge it.) AND HE JUMPS!!!! HE DIVES!!! He is FOOLISH!!!
What is the outcome of this foolishness? Wild, amazing, awe-inspiring, unpredictable God-prints on the hearts of people.
Do we go to the wrong place, to the wrong people, who have an impossible situation…and JUMP?…as individual believers? As a church?
What do we have to lose?
Going Deeper…..
From the story of the Exodus and The Barbarian Way.
EXODUS 40:30-34 NIV
34 Then the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle. 35 Moses could not enter the Tent of Meeting because the cloud had settled upon it, and the glory of the LORD filled the tabernacle.
36 In all the travels of the Israelites, whenever the cloud lifted from above the tabernacle, they would set out; 37 but if the cloud did not lift, they did not set out—until the day it lifted. 38 So the cloud of the LORD was over the tabernacle by day, and fire was in the cloud by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel during all their travels.
These followers of God must have looked “crazy, foolish, and unwise” to outsiders. God’s call always involves things that do not make “sense” to us.
“…religion provides stability and certainty; for the barbarian (“foolish” followers of Christ), a life in God is one of risk and mystery. And maybe even a little insanity”—The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
“When Noah built the ark, he did not live in a flood zone.”-- The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
“Those people did not live normal lives. Their actions were ludicrous and irrational if you take God out of the formula…The vitality of their life in God moved them beyond the practicality of simply being reasonable.”-- The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
“You were not created to be normal. God’s desire for you is not compliance and conformity. You have been baptized by Spirit and fire.”-- The Barbarian Way E.R. McManus
There was nothing safe about the man Jesus. He was the Messiah, but he was a fool and rebel to “the wise”. Would anyone call today’s church foolish or rebellious to “the wise”? Some think our message is foolish, but what about our actions.
Going Deeper Questions
Consider the following Questions
-What keeps you from “jumping” after God?
-What keeps you from encouraging others to jump?
-What would happen if we formed the “Skydivers Ministry”?
Would we cheer on the skydivers?
Would others be emboldened to jump?
Would the world take notice?
Would the world be better for it?
Would YOU jump?
CONCLUSION
Someone has to be the first person to jump. Some group has to start. Will it be you? Are you hanging out in places that skydivers might be found? If not, find one. If you don’t find one, start one.
WHOSOEVER can become a skydiver. No experience necessary.
WHOSOEVER is waiting to see God’s foolishness in you so they might see the wisdom of the cross.
5/30/05
What was the purpose of your salvation?
What was the purpose of your salvation?
Was it that upon your death your soul would commence its heavenly ascent?
Was it for you to be an integral part of the faith community that is your church and denomination?
Was it so you could go out and do something for God?
What did your church, your youth leader, your Sunday School teacher, your parents give you as a reason that you should give your life to God?
Do you really have any idea?
Did the ones that helped you down that road have any idea?
Just wondering...
Was it that upon your death your soul would commence its heavenly ascent?
Was it for you to be an integral part of the faith community that is your church and denomination?
Was it so you could go out and do something for God?
What did your church, your youth leader, your Sunday School teacher, your parents give you as a reason that you should give your life to God?
Do you really have any idea?
Did the ones that helped you down that road have any idea?
Just wondering...
4/22/05
Dad's Birthday
My dad, James Randal Roe, died in early June of 2003 (two weeks before my wedding). He was born on April 22, 1950. I ran across this note I wrote last year on his birthday. I thought I would share parts of it with you all today. Maybe it will make a difference in how you are with your dad and/or kids. That can be my dad’s birthday present today, that his life might affect yours.
4-22-2004
Today my dad would have been 54 years old. I think we would be planning what might have been his first 18-hole round of golf since having both hips replaced a few years ago. We had made it up to 13 holes before his death.
He would probably be fussing that I was considering ministry that was outside the denomination I grew up in. That would start an argument. It would be a good argument too. He would be unreasonable, as would I. But in the end, I would have known it was because he loves me that he was so concerned. And He wants to be right as much as I do.
Maybe he would have been feeling well enough by now to “go back to work”. (because of his hip replacement and kidney problems he had been on disability for a while). Maybe he and Mom might be thinking about moving to the farm together. (My mom’s parents own some land in SW Arkansas. They have a couple of old family homes that they rent out. Always been sort of a retirement plan for my parents). I think the prospect of moving to the farm always appealed to him…but it meant growing old. There were remnants of that 60’s rebellion against anything “old” left in his heart.
I think he was really stunted because of his environment growing up. Too many “do nots”. Too many rules without love first. I wonder what God meant when he created Randy? What was his “real name”? (reference to a Wild @ Heart thought by John Eldredge referring to our real purpose at the hands of the Creator). His real purpose? What was he supposed to be in the Kingdom? How sad it is that he never even knew that. God really had a purpose for James Randal Roe.
I miss you, Dad. You live on in Craig and Lola and Mom and in me. Maybe that was your purpose, to live on in us. Who knows but God? God is really working on Craig right now. Really stirring me up pretty intensely too. Hope your perspective on things is different now. Hope you can see what good is going on in our lives.
How I long to hug you again. I want to touch that wrinkled saggy face. (a kidney treatment they used, high doses of steroids, made him gain a lot of weight, somewhere around 240. He got down to around 155 a couple years after. He kind of had saggy jowels left over). I would love to argue again about something with you with such great excitement that you give up arguing, not on the merit of my argument, just because of my youthful passion. How I miss those talks…baseball, StL Cardinals, music, the new business dreams.
I am sorry for the times I wasn’t there. You were so sick and I was caught up in my own world. How I must have hurt your heart. (I was at odds with my parents over issues with my ex-wife, and allowed those to keep me from visiting very often during some of the worst of his illness). I love you. I longed for you even then. I just couldn’t manage my world that was crumbling around me. Sometimes I forget how bad things really were.
Then, when I was around again, you were relegated to sleeping so much we barely interacted. What a blessing those last couple of years were. I loved the music (who knew you REALLY could get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant?). It was so cool to see the Eagles and Don Henley. You took me to some great shows, Chicago, Crosby Stills and Nash (even if they didn’t play one good old song, who wants to hear NEW CSN?), Huey Lewis, and who can forget the show of all shows….PAUL McCARTNEY.
I treasure the rounds of golf we played. Even at that God-awful “course” in that old Southaven neighborhood. You know, the one with CLOVER on the greens. How I miss playing catch. It was great when you could get up out of the bed again.
One of my fondest memories is softball. I idolized my homerun-hitting daddy. The rides all over South Arkansas on the back of that Yamaha Maxim 750 were true adventures to an 8 year old I remember the night you hit 3 homeruns. One of them went into a chicken coup. (I was a little scared to retrieve that one). And how fun it was playing together 10 and 11 years later. The summer we played on that combined church and work team was the greatest summer ever. To play 2nd base, or even be in the outfield behind you pitching was awesome. But the best was when the right side of the infield was made up of the Roes. It was priceless to field a grounder and to throw the ball to you. I loved that. Thanks, Dad.
Craig and I wanted to go to the cages and get some pointers from you if you ever felt like it. Sorry that never happened.
Thanks for teaching me to play tennis. You let me play a couple of games of doubles with you and your buddies when I was just 11. That meant a lot to me.
I wish you weren’t gone. My heart sometimes thinks it might bust with sadness when I realize you are really gone. I hate that. I miss you like it was yesterday that you died. You are my daddy. I love you. We were supposed to grow old and make fun of the next generation. You were supposed to laugh because my kids will do me the same way I did you. I am supposed to get to hear you called “Grampy” or “Grumpy Gramps” or something that sounds old and you hate until the first time it comes out of your grandbaby’s cute little mouth.
Your Mom didn’t get to call you at midnight. (My grandmother, we always referred to her as YOUR Mother or YOUR Grandmother, or YOUR Mother-in-law, because she was as difficult sometimes as she was sweet. Anyway, she always called him at 12 midnight on his birthday to be the FIRST to wish him a Happy Birthday).
I love you daddy. You frustrated me so much when you were here. You were quite good at it. Now I am frustrated that you are NOT here. Still causing frustration even in your absence. I miss you!
Dad, I won’t sell out. I am going to let God push me to my purpose. I will live the dreams that you didn’t get to. I will go for it all out. You watch. That will be my birthday present. And every birthday of yours that passes, I will be reminded to live the dream with passion. I don’t want to end up in a prison of my own making…scared and bored. I want to LIVE. For however long I am here I will live and live with heart from the heart. Free, wild and honest. True to the heart Father God put in me. I love you, Dad. I miss you more than I thought possible. Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you.
Topher
*and still today, a year later, not much has changed. I still miss my dad. Maybe more than ever. And I still want to live from my heart. I hope he sees it somehow.
If your dad is still alive, don’t miss out on the time you have. If you are estranged…RECONCILE. If you haven’t said “I Love You.” Say it. As clichéd as it sounds, you may not have another chance. Play the round of golf, go fishing, sit on the porch, make the phone call, DO SOMETHING. It will soon enough be gone.
If you ARE a dad, read this as if it were from your son. What you do matters to you kids. They love you, as frustrating as you are, they love you. Make more memories with them. Tell them you love them and are proud of them. Don’t wait.
Thanks for letting me share. --Chris
4-22-2004
Today my dad would have been 54 years old. I think we would be planning what might have been his first 18-hole round of golf since having both hips replaced a few years ago. We had made it up to 13 holes before his death.
He would probably be fussing that I was considering ministry that was outside the denomination I grew up in. That would start an argument. It would be a good argument too. He would be unreasonable, as would I. But in the end, I would have known it was because he loves me that he was so concerned. And He wants to be right as much as I do.
Maybe he would have been feeling well enough by now to “go back to work”. (because of his hip replacement and kidney problems he had been on disability for a while). Maybe he and Mom might be thinking about moving to the farm together. (My mom’s parents own some land in SW Arkansas. They have a couple of old family homes that they rent out. Always been sort of a retirement plan for my parents). I think the prospect of moving to the farm always appealed to him…but it meant growing old. There were remnants of that 60’s rebellion against anything “old” left in his heart.
I think he was really stunted because of his environment growing up. Too many “do nots”. Too many rules without love first. I wonder what God meant when he created Randy? What was his “real name”? (reference to a Wild @ Heart thought by John Eldredge referring to our real purpose at the hands of the Creator). His real purpose? What was he supposed to be in the Kingdom? How sad it is that he never even knew that. God really had a purpose for James Randal Roe.
I miss you, Dad. You live on in Craig and Lola and Mom and in me. Maybe that was your purpose, to live on in us. Who knows but God? God is really working on Craig right now. Really stirring me up pretty intensely too. Hope your perspective on things is different now. Hope you can see what good is going on in our lives.
How I long to hug you again. I want to touch that wrinkled saggy face. (a kidney treatment they used, high doses of steroids, made him gain a lot of weight, somewhere around 240. He got down to around 155 a couple years after. He kind of had saggy jowels left over). I would love to argue again about something with you with such great excitement that you give up arguing, not on the merit of my argument, just because of my youthful passion. How I miss those talks…baseball, StL Cardinals, music, the new business dreams.
I am sorry for the times I wasn’t there. You were so sick and I was caught up in my own world. How I must have hurt your heart. (I was at odds with my parents over issues with my ex-wife, and allowed those to keep me from visiting very often during some of the worst of his illness). I love you. I longed for you even then. I just couldn’t manage my world that was crumbling around me. Sometimes I forget how bad things really were.
Then, when I was around again, you were relegated to sleeping so much we barely interacted. What a blessing those last couple of years were. I loved the music (who knew you REALLY could get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant?). It was so cool to see the Eagles and Don Henley. You took me to some great shows, Chicago, Crosby Stills and Nash (even if they didn’t play one good old song, who wants to hear NEW CSN?), Huey Lewis, and who can forget the show of all shows….PAUL McCARTNEY.
I treasure the rounds of golf we played. Even at that God-awful “course” in that old Southaven neighborhood. You know, the one with CLOVER on the greens. How I miss playing catch. It was great when you could get up out of the bed again.
One of my fondest memories is softball. I idolized my homerun-hitting daddy. The rides all over South Arkansas on the back of that Yamaha Maxim 750 were true adventures to an 8 year old I remember the night you hit 3 homeruns. One of them went into a chicken coup. (I was a little scared to retrieve that one). And how fun it was playing together 10 and 11 years later. The summer we played on that combined church and work team was the greatest summer ever. To play 2nd base, or even be in the outfield behind you pitching was awesome. But the best was when the right side of the infield was made up of the Roes. It was priceless to field a grounder and to throw the ball to you. I loved that. Thanks, Dad.
Craig and I wanted to go to the cages and get some pointers from you if you ever felt like it. Sorry that never happened.
Thanks for teaching me to play tennis. You let me play a couple of games of doubles with you and your buddies when I was just 11. That meant a lot to me.
I wish you weren’t gone. My heart sometimes thinks it might bust with sadness when I realize you are really gone. I hate that. I miss you like it was yesterday that you died. You are my daddy. I love you. We were supposed to grow old and make fun of the next generation. You were supposed to laugh because my kids will do me the same way I did you. I am supposed to get to hear you called “Grampy” or “Grumpy Gramps” or something that sounds old and you hate until the first time it comes out of your grandbaby’s cute little mouth.
Your Mom didn’t get to call you at midnight. (My grandmother, we always referred to her as YOUR Mother or YOUR Grandmother, or YOUR Mother-in-law, because she was as difficult sometimes as she was sweet. Anyway, she always called him at 12 midnight on his birthday to be the FIRST to wish him a Happy Birthday).
I love you daddy. You frustrated me so much when you were here. You were quite good at it. Now I am frustrated that you are NOT here. Still causing frustration even in your absence. I miss you!
Dad, I won’t sell out. I am going to let God push me to my purpose. I will live the dreams that you didn’t get to. I will go for it all out. You watch. That will be my birthday present. And every birthday of yours that passes, I will be reminded to live the dream with passion. I don’t want to end up in a prison of my own making…scared and bored. I want to LIVE. For however long I am here I will live and live with heart from the heart. Free, wild and honest. True to the heart Father God put in me. I love you, Dad. I miss you more than I thought possible. Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you.
Topher
*and still today, a year later, not much has changed. I still miss my dad. Maybe more than ever. And I still want to live from my heart. I hope he sees it somehow.
If your dad is still alive, don’t miss out on the time you have. If you are estranged…RECONCILE. If you haven’t said “I Love You.” Say it. As clichéd as it sounds, you may not have another chance. Play the round of golf, go fishing, sit on the porch, make the phone call, DO SOMETHING. It will soon enough be gone.
If you ARE a dad, read this as if it were from your son. What you do matters to you kids. They love you, as frustrating as you are, they love you. Make more memories with them. Tell them you love them and are proud of them. Don’t wait.
Thanks for letting me share. --Chris
2/8/05
How much of your religion is cultural?
In discussions over the last few weeks this question has been bouncing around my head. How much of your religion is "true religion"? How much of it is rooted in The Word of God, the heart of Jesus? How much of it is nurtured into you from your culture, history, and geneology?
What if we gave up meeting in church buildings? Would that bother you? Why? The first century church met in homes.
Would it bother you to sell all you had that you didn't truly need, then entrust it to your Pastors to give out to each as he had need? That's what they did in Acts 4.
Would it bother you to kiss (preferrably on the cheek) your Christian brothers when you greeted them? We are instructed at least four times to "greet one another with a holy kiss" in the New Testament (Romans 16:16, I Cor 16:20, II Cor 13:12, I Thess 5:26)
What if capitalism and democracy are not necessarily God's preferred form of Economics and Government?
What if we took away hymnals? Praise Teams? Worship Bands? "Praise and Worship" music? Choirs? Musical Instruments altogether?
What if Jesus didn't preach in 3-point, fill-in-the-blank sermons that lasted less than an hour?
What if I told you the First Century Church didn't so much "sing" like we think of it. They more or less chanted responsive Psalms to each other. Not a lot of access to instruments as I understand it. Not a lot of room for bands in peoples homes. The leader might read from the Psalms "Give thanks to the Lord." and the church would respond "His love endures forever." and so on.
If you remember your music history from Music Appreciation in college, Gregorian Chant whatever century it came about was the birthing place for what we call four-part harmony now. If we used Gregorian Chant in most churches today, we would all think the Worship leader had been possessed or something.
What if we started hanging out with hookers, strippers, gamblers, drunks, and the like? What if we invited them into our homes. What if we invited ourselves into their homes.
What if I posed the possibility to you that Jesus danced and partied? He attended a wedding feast where he turned water to wine. The feasts usually lasted a week. There was LOTS of dancing.
What if I told you that I suspected Jesus would not align himself with Republicans? (or Democrats for that matter)? Jerry Falwell? Pat Robertson? Most governing church bodies (SBC, PCUSA, United Methodist, etc)? Most denominations? YOUR denomination?
What if I said Jesus probably wouldn't be fighting a "Culture War", at least the way our conservative evangelical selves are calling for it.
What if I said the only "Culture War" Jesus fought was against the rigid legal establishment of his day? Which I think closely resembles the American Christian churches of today.
What if I said Jesus might not picket abortion clinics? What if I said Jesus might not berate homosexuals? What if I said Jesus might not care as much about prayer in schools as he did praying with your family? Do you think he really cares if "under God" gets taken out of The Plegde when most of us don't live Under God's Purposes (except when it benefits us)? Do you think he cares that "in God we trust" is on our money when we hoard it from each other, the church and the poor? Do you think words matter when the hearts don't really care?
Do you think God favors Americans over other people? over Russians, Cubans, Pakistanis, Saudis, Iraqis, Iranians, whoever?
Do we even know how we came to the present belief structures we subscribe to? Do we care? Or do we just want to be "right"?
About 10 years ago I visited with a good-hearted, well-meaning young married couple. They came from families of different denominations (sort of). Actually their families attended two denominations that split over some minor differences, but originated in the same movement in the early 1800's. The couple decided one was more right than the other. They worshipped together in that particular denomination. They had trouble when they went to visit her parents, though, the couple wanted to go to the "more correct" denomination, not the one her parents went to. They were trying to reconcile this and decide whether her parents needed them to intervene to get them in the RIGHT church...or at least the MORE RIGHT church.
I mentioned the Restoration Movement from which both of these denominations originated. "Movement?" he asked. "I am talking about 'THE CHURCH'."he said...meaning his denomination. I mentioned its origin in the 1800's and the leaders and their thinking about restoring the New Testament first century church. He looked at me like I was an alien. He had no idea his church originated as a response to "denominationalism". Much less that those movements responded to the Catholic Church during The Reformation. He didn't know his church. Even though he seemed to put more stock in THE CHURCH and HOW they did things than in Christ.
He had no idea that he, and his church, were as much a product of their history and culture as they were based on The Word of God, the heart of Christ, and the movement of His Spirit. He never thought the way he was engaging and experiencing God (especially when he attended "church") was connected to centuries of cultural expressions and filters. He just thought what is always was.
Please let me be clear, I am not saying cultural expressions of the Kingdom of God are wrong or bad. I believe that God's expression of his love to the world will always be relevant to the culture (at least to the hearts he created and their deepest needs). Jesus used relevant examples in his teachings. He used the work and world they knew. He used agriculture, banquets and feasts of the day, household chores, and present day racial tensions as examples of what "the Kingdom of Heaven is like".
Paul even used temples built to Mythological Gods to commend his listners "spirituality". He used their "Temple to the Unknown God" as a means to explain the One True God.
I am just saying that we are often times as attached, if not more attached, to those cultural and historical expressions than the very heart of God.
Are we willing to ask God how he would like to express his love through us? Are we willing to ask God how he might like us to express that love back to him? Are we willing to accept answers that might differ from our religious routine? Are we really after God? Or are we just after a way to manage our lives, make us reasonably happy, and just basically validate our existence?
Do we really want to know God apart from our preconceptions and prejudices? Or do we just want to know a God that fits us?
Just wondering.....
What if we gave up meeting in church buildings? Would that bother you? Why? The first century church met in homes.
Would it bother you to sell all you had that you didn't truly need, then entrust it to your Pastors to give out to each as he had need? That's what they did in Acts 4.
Would it bother you to kiss (preferrably on the cheek) your Christian brothers when you greeted them? We are instructed at least four times to "greet one another with a holy kiss" in the New Testament (Romans 16:16, I Cor 16:20, II Cor 13:12, I Thess 5:26)
What if capitalism and democracy are not necessarily God's preferred form of Economics and Government?
What if we took away hymnals? Praise Teams? Worship Bands? "Praise and Worship" music? Choirs? Musical Instruments altogether?
What if Jesus didn't preach in 3-point, fill-in-the-blank sermons that lasted less than an hour?
What if I told you the First Century Church didn't so much "sing" like we think of it. They more or less chanted responsive Psalms to each other. Not a lot of access to instruments as I understand it. Not a lot of room for bands in peoples homes. The leader might read from the Psalms "Give thanks to the Lord." and the church would respond "His love endures forever." and so on.
If you remember your music history from Music Appreciation in college, Gregorian Chant whatever century it came about was the birthing place for what we call four-part harmony now. If we used Gregorian Chant in most churches today, we would all think the Worship leader had been possessed or something.
What if we started hanging out with hookers, strippers, gamblers, drunks, and the like? What if we invited them into our homes. What if we invited ourselves into their homes.
What if I posed the possibility to you that Jesus danced and partied? He attended a wedding feast where he turned water to wine. The feasts usually lasted a week. There was LOTS of dancing.
What if I told you that I suspected Jesus would not align himself with Republicans? (or Democrats for that matter)? Jerry Falwell? Pat Robertson? Most governing church bodies (SBC, PCUSA, United Methodist, etc)? Most denominations? YOUR denomination?
What if I said Jesus probably wouldn't be fighting a "Culture War", at least the way our conservative evangelical selves are calling for it.
What if I said the only "Culture War" Jesus fought was against the rigid legal establishment of his day? Which I think closely resembles the American Christian churches of today.
What if I said Jesus might not picket abortion clinics? What if I said Jesus might not berate homosexuals? What if I said Jesus might not care as much about prayer in schools as he did praying with your family? Do you think he really cares if "under God" gets taken out of The Plegde when most of us don't live Under God's Purposes (except when it benefits us)? Do you think he cares that "in God we trust" is on our money when we hoard it from each other, the church and the poor? Do you think words matter when the hearts don't really care?
Do you think God favors Americans over other people? over Russians, Cubans, Pakistanis, Saudis, Iraqis, Iranians, whoever?
Do we even know how we came to the present belief structures we subscribe to? Do we care? Or do we just want to be "right"?
About 10 years ago I visited with a good-hearted, well-meaning young married couple. They came from families of different denominations (sort of). Actually their families attended two denominations that split over some minor differences, but originated in the same movement in the early 1800's. The couple decided one was more right than the other. They worshipped together in that particular denomination. They had trouble when they went to visit her parents, though, the couple wanted to go to the "more correct" denomination, not the one her parents went to. They were trying to reconcile this and decide whether her parents needed them to intervene to get them in the RIGHT church...or at least the MORE RIGHT church.
I mentioned the Restoration Movement from which both of these denominations originated. "Movement?" he asked. "I am talking about 'THE CHURCH'."he said...meaning his denomination. I mentioned its origin in the 1800's and the leaders and their thinking about restoring the New Testament first century church. He looked at me like I was an alien. He had no idea his church originated as a response to "denominationalism". Much less that those movements responded to the Catholic Church during The Reformation. He didn't know his church. Even though he seemed to put more stock in THE CHURCH and HOW they did things than in Christ.
He had no idea that he, and his church, were as much a product of their history and culture as they were based on The Word of God, the heart of Christ, and the movement of His Spirit. He never thought the way he was engaging and experiencing God (especially when he attended "church") was connected to centuries of cultural expressions and filters. He just thought what is always was.
Please let me be clear, I am not saying cultural expressions of the Kingdom of God are wrong or bad. I believe that God's expression of his love to the world will always be relevant to the culture (at least to the hearts he created and their deepest needs). Jesus used relevant examples in his teachings. He used the work and world they knew. He used agriculture, banquets and feasts of the day, household chores, and present day racial tensions as examples of what "the Kingdom of Heaven is like".
Paul even used temples built to Mythological Gods to commend his listners "spirituality". He used their "Temple to the Unknown God" as a means to explain the One True God.
I am just saying that we are often times as attached, if not more attached, to those cultural and historical expressions than the very heart of God.
Are we willing to ask God how he would like to express his love through us? Are we willing to ask God how he might like us to express that love back to him? Are we willing to accept answers that might differ from our religious routine? Are we really after God? Or are we just after a way to manage our lives, make us reasonably happy, and just basically validate our existence?
Do we really want to know God apart from our preconceptions and prejudices? Or do we just want to know a God that fits us?
Just wondering.....
2/2/05
Be not Do
We are concerned with what we need to do to be what God wants us to be. What we miss is concern about what we need to be to do what God has for us to do.
We readily reach for the latest Christian or Self-Help Book that offers the 6 Principles of This or the 7 Habits of that or the 9 steps to this. We are concerned with working our way through an issue. We want to compensate for our weakness and wrongdoing. We wish to “make up for lost time”. We want to recover by a process of steps. And the Lord knows we need recovery.
To paraphrase Steven Arteburn in TOXIC FAITH, recovery without God at its foundation is simply a form of compensation for wrongs committed.
We are trying to undo the damage done by actions of our will and choice by more actions of that same will and choice. This only leads to limited recovery (from an intensive care unit to a semi-private room). It does not address the cause of the illness. It just treats outward symptoms. Gordon Dalbey puts it this way in HEALING THE MASCULINE SOUL, “Godly counsel only hits its mark after an encounter with The Living God.”
Paul implores us in Romans 12:1-2 (THE MESSAGE)
“1 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. 2 Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. “
PLACE-offer your whole life to him. This is an act of submission. It is not a physical ACTION but a state of the heart. This is not a DO it is a be. Be submitted. Allow your heart to be sacrificed on the altar.
EMBRACE-live with passion from the place God has you. Accept with pleasure the working of God in response to the state of your heart not what you do.
POORLY ADJUSTED-protect your heart from the cultural nurturing of the world away from your God-given, God-inspired passions. Do you remember that Christ likened the kingdom to little children? We are born into a lowly state with few rights and say-so in our lives. We are born completely dependent and fairly useless by our own power. The world teaches us to be independent and competent by our own power. This is what leads to us thinking something we can DO will get us where God wants us.
FIX-your passion and attention on what he is doing. Align the ear of your spirit (your heart) to him.
Proverbs 2:1-6 (NAS) lays it out like this
“1 My son, if you will receive my words And treasure my commandments within you, 2 Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; 3 For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding; 4 If you seek her as silver and search for her as for hidden treasures; 5 Then you will discern the fear of the LORD And discover the knowledge of God. 6 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth {come} knowledge and understanding”
(THE MESSAGE)
1 Good friend, take to heart what I'm telling you; collect my counsels and guard them with your life. 2 Tune your ears to the world of Wisdom; set your heart on a life of Understanding. 3 That's right - if you make Insight your priority, and won't take no for an answer, 4 Searching for it like a prospector panning for gold, like an adventurer on a treasure hunt, 5 Believe me, before you know it Fear-of-God will be yours; you'll have come upon the Knowledge of God. 6 And here's why: God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding.
The verses that follow promise victory and upright steady walking from the decision to “tune your ears” or “make your ear attentive to wisdom and incline your heart to understanding”. In verse 4 he mentions seeking for her as silver. You might argue that seeking is a DO. I would answer that with this question “have you ever seen anyone seeking wisdom?” I know you might see someone whom you know is seeking, but his seeking is not evident by some physical action he is doing. It is evident by the state of his HEART.
BE CHANGED-from the inside out, the inner working of God’s transformation. Again suggesting that the change is about what HE is DOING in you, not what you are doing to become what he finds desirable. There is nothing in your flesh that you can do that makes you acceptable to God. You are not pleasing or presentable to him in your flesh. The accomplishment of your right and pleasing standing with God was sealed over 2000 years ago.
RECOGNIZE-what he wants from you. Because of the transformation of your heart, you will be able to see his desire for you. Your passions will align with his. This doesn’t necessarily mean you will become a good church worker, Sunday school teacher, or roadside evangelist. But the passions and desires of your heart will flow through their designed conduit, his agenda, to accomplish things beyond your imagination for HIS greater purposes.
RESPOND- to his leading. This is where the doing comes in. During the ongoing transformation in you at the hand of the Creator of the Universe, a new you with rightly directed passion emerges that can feel the leading of the Lord and respond to his directions. Maturity and deep faith develop. You will no longer be constantly burdened by the worries of this underdeveloped world and the culturally religious. God develops a big-picture-understanding of the world and his Kingdom design for your life in it.
We readily reach for the latest Christian or Self-Help Book that offers the 6 Principles of This or the 7 Habits of that or the 9 steps to this. We are concerned with working our way through an issue. We want to compensate for our weakness and wrongdoing. We wish to “make up for lost time”. We want to recover by a process of steps. And the Lord knows we need recovery.
To paraphrase Steven Arteburn in TOXIC FAITH, recovery without God at its foundation is simply a form of compensation for wrongs committed.
We are trying to undo the damage done by actions of our will and choice by more actions of that same will and choice. This only leads to limited recovery (from an intensive care unit to a semi-private room). It does not address the cause of the illness. It just treats outward symptoms. Gordon Dalbey puts it this way in HEALING THE MASCULINE SOUL, “Godly counsel only hits its mark after an encounter with The Living God.”
Paul implores us in Romans 12:1-2 (THE MESSAGE)
“1 So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life - your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life - and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. 2 Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. “
PLACE-offer your whole life to him. This is an act of submission. It is not a physical ACTION but a state of the heart. This is not a DO it is a be. Be submitted. Allow your heart to be sacrificed on the altar.
EMBRACE-live with passion from the place God has you. Accept with pleasure the working of God in response to the state of your heart not what you do.
POORLY ADJUSTED-protect your heart from the cultural nurturing of the world away from your God-given, God-inspired passions. Do you remember that Christ likened the kingdom to little children? We are born into a lowly state with few rights and say-so in our lives. We are born completely dependent and fairly useless by our own power. The world teaches us to be independent and competent by our own power. This is what leads to us thinking something we can DO will get us where God wants us.
FIX-your passion and attention on what he is doing. Align the ear of your spirit (your heart) to him.
Proverbs 2:1-6 (NAS) lays it out like this
“1 My son, if you will receive my words And treasure my commandments within you, 2 Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to understanding; 3 For if you cry for discernment, Lift your voice for understanding; 4 If you seek her as silver and search for her as for hidden treasures; 5 Then you will discern the fear of the LORD And discover the knowledge of God. 6 For the LORD gives wisdom; From His mouth {come} knowledge and understanding”
(THE MESSAGE)
1 Good friend, take to heart what I'm telling you; collect my counsels and guard them with your life. 2 Tune your ears to the world of Wisdom; set your heart on a life of Understanding. 3 That's right - if you make Insight your priority, and won't take no for an answer, 4 Searching for it like a prospector panning for gold, like an adventurer on a treasure hunt, 5 Believe me, before you know it Fear-of-God will be yours; you'll have come upon the Knowledge of God. 6 And here's why: God gives out Wisdom free, is plainspoken in Knowledge and Understanding.
The verses that follow promise victory and upright steady walking from the decision to “tune your ears” or “make your ear attentive to wisdom and incline your heart to understanding”. In verse 4 he mentions seeking for her as silver. You might argue that seeking is a DO. I would answer that with this question “have you ever seen anyone seeking wisdom?” I know you might see someone whom you know is seeking, but his seeking is not evident by some physical action he is doing. It is evident by the state of his HEART.
BE CHANGED-from the inside out, the inner working of God’s transformation. Again suggesting that the change is about what HE is DOING in you, not what you are doing to become what he finds desirable. There is nothing in your flesh that you can do that makes you acceptable to God. You are not pleasing or presentable to him in your flesh. The accomplishment of your right and pleasing standing with God was sealed over 2000 years ago.
RECOGNIZE-what he wants from you. Because of the transformation of your heart, you will be able to see his desire for you. Your passions will align with his. This doesn’t necessarily mean you will become a good church worker, Sunday school teacher, or roadside evangelist. But the passions and desires of your heart will flow through their designed conduit, his agenda, to accomplish things beyond your imagination for HIS greater purposes.
RESPOND- to his leading. This is where the doing comes in. During the ongoing transformation in you at the hand of the Creator of the Universe, a new you with rightly directed passion emerges that can feel the leading of the Lord and respond to his directions. Maturity and deep faith develop. You will no longer be constantly burdened by the worries of this underdeveloped world and the culturally religious. God develops a big-picture-understanding of the world and his Kingdom design for your life in it.
Where did my heart go?
Who am I? Where did my heart go?
Once I had it. Then it was gone?
How did it go? When did it go?
The Tin Man journeyed in hope that he might get a heart.
He risked all to find one.
I had one.
I felt and responded. Once even showed some compassion
But now...not so much.
Once I had it. Then it was gone?
How did it go? When did it go?
The Tin Man journeyed in hope that he might get a heart.
He risked all to find one.
I had one.
I felt and responded. Once even showed some compassion
But now...not so much.
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